Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
