dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
