His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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