Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
