420 ftw
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
