I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
