I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
