I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
