Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
