i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
