Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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