Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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