Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We got so high we made milksteak
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize