WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
im six kinds of drunk right now
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
