Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
