She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
