please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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