I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize