I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
