My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The Olympian is in my bed
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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