Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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