That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
