you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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