im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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