what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This toilet bowl is my home.
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