your thong is hanging out like whoa
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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