Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
