So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
