his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Mom said you looked used
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Randomize
