He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
