we have officially lost it.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
