She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
