TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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