my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize
