at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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