Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize