So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
