Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
