u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Everclear isn't food dammit
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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