what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
