the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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