i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
third nipple confirmed
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
