she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
