so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
