I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
