I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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