stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
