Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
