I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
