YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
