Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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