spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
