Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
