I cannot find my penis.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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