I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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