She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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