I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
