hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
