oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
