He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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